Tuna Shake (Baby!)

A good while back, while I was reading up on the Squat, I stumbled upon the Tuna Shake. Tuna is a very inexpensive source of protein and I’ve possibly eaten the equivalent of my body weight of it over the past year; I didn’t think it was possible to consume it in the form of a shake and when I learned of this preparation I immediately thought of the time, effort and money I could save myself by adding these into my diet. Until Friday I didn’t have a blender to try it out, but after a quick trip to Argos and a £20 debit from my bank account I was set. Here’s the ingredients:

Everything was weighed and measured out, the oats were ground and some water was added. From memory the result was approximately 40g protein, 50g carbohydrate and 15g fat: a meal typical of my current diet. The combined ingredients looked like this:

A bit of blitzing left me with this:

Please note the leakage in the above photo. Due to my lack of experience with properly setting up and using a blender, when I went to remove the jug the contents rushed out the bottom, leaving my worktop flooded with liquid fish, nice. Cleaning up took an age but I dusted myself down, started again and this was the result:

Needless to say, the sight and smell of this concoction left a lot to be desired but I was determined to go through with it, I brought the glass to my lips and swilled it down. I’ve been using ground oats in shakes for a while now so I’m used to the taste and texture they bring but the tuna lent a thicker, meatier consistency which I wasn’t expecting. I expected the blender to produce an entirely smooth shake, so you can imagine my shock when I got 2/3 of the way down and could see what was waiting for me at the bottom of the glass. What was worse was consuming what was left in the jug. This will give you an idea:

I was surprised I managed to get it all drunk and thought I’d gotten away with it until 10 minutes later when my stomach started to complain. For a while I thought I was going to be sick, but that passed. All hunger left me and didn’t return for a few hours when I was due my next feed, which turned out to be another shake, but of much saner composition.

Unfortunately tuna shakes are never going to be an addition to my diet. The experiment was a success, in a twisted way, but will never be repeated. I’ll leave you with the words of a man wiser than I: “don’t try this at home.”